And yet….I wouldn’t trade my loud mouthed, physical, weird-messy-imaginative-game-playing-kids for anything.  Sometimes its good to put it all in perspective.

I really hope that isn’t true.

Its kinda the curse of being a SAHM.  I look around and think, if I have to pick that up one more time, I’m gonna go into orbit.

And the bummer part is that, I’m not really even that good at being a SAHM.  I’m terrible about feeding my kids.  I don’t understand why they have to eat so often???  I lack structure and consistency.  Like completely.  It is something I really hate to have in my life.  To me, structure and consistency = monotony.  And Monotony = Boredom/I might go into orbit.

So what does someone do who is constantly on the verge of monotony/going in to orbit?

Srsly, I’m asking.  What do we all do???

(if you say find a support group and/or find a hobby – I will block you, I swear I will!!!!)

We buy yogurt by the cupful because it more convenient than the large container.  We buy clothes and barely blink when they are destroyed within the first couple uses.  We treat plastic like it is a biodegradable item, simply because its recyclable.

But recyclable does not equate to lowering an eco footprint.  In fact, the opposite is, true.  Recycling actually increases our eco footprint exponentially.  Instead of bearing the burden of the energy used to create and consume items, you have to factor in the energy used to recycle items.

Buy sustainable products, biodegradable when possible, by used.  Eco impact should be printed on the package, so that we can make educated decisions about what we buy.

Can’t afford sustainable products?  Can’t find it used?

Then buy less or don’t buy at all.

Campaign Finance – Reform it.  Now.  If you can’t generate a grass roots campaign then you have no business in politics.  It makes be physically ill how much we spent to fund election campaigns.

The profile of a candidate – Naturally, it is impossible to attract average candidates who represent the average citizen.  Either you are a career politician who is independently wealthy or you enjoy a flexible work situation.  Exceptions occur, of course.  But lets not pretend that the average citizen of the US falls into either of these categories.  The issue is fundamentally wrong at its core.  Elected office should not be a full time job.  It should be a volunteer effort, that is conducted in our spare time.  It should be unpaid.  It should be crafted in a way that your average job, your average life isn’t completely interrupted.  It should be part time and it should be a passion.  With technology, there should be no reason why this can’t work, except that people don’t want to change.

Direct Mail Campaigns and Commercials – do these influence anyone anymore?  Maybe I live in a social and generational bubble, but mostly, direct mail campaigns and campaign commercials make me angry that they are so obviously nonobjective and costly.

I’m not saying it would be perfect, and sure, things would need to be really thought through.  But the concept that there is a baseline level of healthcare that human beings deserve because we are compassionate – that should be a no brainer.

When I was living in England, I remember before I left, my mother spent a lot of time, effort and money making sure I had ‘international’ healthcare.  I’m pretty sure she was robbed, because when my roomate needed healthcare due to strep throat, all we paid for was the cab ride to the ER.  We waited no longer than I have waited in my local privatized hospital.  When we tried to pay someone, they looked at us like we were from Mars.  What I’m saying is, it didn’t seem so bad to me.

Would public healthcare be the same as what care we receive now?  Will the need for private healthcare cease?  Probably not.  If you want cosmetic or private rooms, you will buy supplemental.

Does government have some respect to gain, in terms of public management?  Hell yes.  Medicare and Medicaid need to be overhauled and managed in a way that builds trust between the public and government management.  Should that be a blanket reason to dismiss social evolution?  Hell no.

He’s perfect, loyal, herds my family, likes to snuggle and is good in the car.

Unfortunately, he is also psycho.

I’m pretty sure the technical term is ‘separation anxiety’.  Or so my Sis, the vet, says.  He freaks out to be separated from us.  This is actually (and surprisingly) very endearing.  Until we are in a situation where we have to leave him alone.  Like when we go to the grocery store.  Or out to dinner.  He just can’t come.

So he has a prescription for tranquilizers.  And Xanex.  And Prozac.  Yeah, he’s that dog….

But he’s sweet, and adorable and a dude magnet.  So what’s not to love?

I remember when my kids were little.  Like toddler and baby little.  Before they started school and were influenced by the real world.  It was easy to be naive about what I would and wouldn’t expose them too.

No fast food.

Organics only.

No bleaches of any kind in the laundry.

No TV.

Classical music.

Choice based parenting with lots of positive reinforcement

Structured schedules.  Consistency.

No swearing in front of the kids.

Then I had kid number two.  And most of this was a distant memory.

A lot of parenting is good intention tempered with reality.  The reality is what keeps us from being fanatics.  Embrace the reality – because nothing I mention above, is going to hurt anyone in moderation.  But trying to be militant about excluding if from your life will cause disproportionate amounts of stress.

So when I learn that people have decided they can no longer be around my family because I am not militant enough with my expectations of my kids, I can’t help but think that the feeling is mutual.  Because if you are going to bring unrealistic expectations into my life, then we can’t be friends.

The ocean drop off – Seriously, who knows what is out there, how deep it goes.  Its freaky.

The possible existence of extra terrestrial life.  Particularly if they wish to colonize earth.

Food additives and preservatives

Vomit of any kind, from any thing

Anesthetic Awareness

GMO seed and the sterilization of our food supply

Film Footage of Nazi’s march in grids.  Terrifying.  I also thought it was scary in Star Wars when the clones marched in grids.  Basically marching in grids freaks me out.

Spiders.  Especially hairy ones.

This is all I can think of for now.  Side note: Manure freaks me out a lot less than it use to.

That is a frightening prospect.  So I’ve decided its better to be prepared.  Daily.  Just in case.

Daily End of the world checklist:

1. Diligently check the news each mornings.  Be on the lookout for apocalypse-type warnings.  (natural disaster, surfacing of the anti-christ, new strain of influenza, long range nuke testing in Syria, etc.)

2. Consult disaster decision tree in order to know which disaster preparedness bag to grab on the way out the door. (For list of supplies contained within each bag are located in the Disaster Preparedness Supplies List – organized by disaster.)

3. Be sure to have a hard copy call/address list of trusted friends in event of a disaster/end of the world.  (criteria to determine what classifies a ‘trusted friend’ found in the manual, ‘Compile your Apocalypse Commune – skills needed to survive in a post-modern world)

4. Fill car with gas – daily.  Seriously.  Do it.

5. Remind children of the meeting location, in case we are separated.  Drill them on how to disarm a grown man with a single, well-place kick, in case they encounter lunatic looters en route.  Check their backpacks for gas masks, map to rendezvous point, water and flashlights.

6. Loot – bullets, hachets, shotguns (at least two per person), beef sticks, first aide, water purification tablets, secondary pairs of winter weather gear (one should already have a primary pair of rain gear, boots, gloves, etc. find the list of mandatory items in: List of Survival Gear Necessary to Live Through the Apocalypse, Addendum 1 in the manual.)  It doesn’t matter if it looks like stealing at the time.  Later they will consider your negative social behavior to be insightful.

7. Spend weekends working on underground bunker.  Camouflage the exterior to prevent squatting by Hill People.  Stockpile candles, water, canned goods, dry goods in metal tins.  Also needed bunks, bedrolls, tin ware, matches.  Important: This should be done in advance of End of the World…

8. IF the World Ends in the middle of Acupuncture, I have made an executive decision.  My Acupuncturist will just have to come with me.  Whether he wants to or not.  Its really the only way.

I’m sure he will thank me for it later.

Thing is, I don’t usually friend drop.  It just seems sorta shifty.  I mean, are we all adult enough to be tolerant of each other?  I guess the same should apply to me being tolerant of my friends prejudice?  I dunno, but it seemed like a good idea to maybe try and force the issue.  If I’m honest and open with my free-lovin’, socialist, hippie ideals – then maybe they will just drop me.  You know, let my freak-flag fly.  Passive-aggressive, I realize…

Only, it didn’t work…I guess blocking them will have to do…